Climbing up a growing mountain

I have never been a fan of rock climbing and whenever anyone starts talking about it, all of my insides usually start twisting inside of me. It's called 'fear of heights' or acrophobia. Here though, I would like to mention one of my class experiences.

It is good that my professors are very smart. Learning from the smart and knowledgeable people, though it doesn't necessarily 'make' the student knowledgeable, does add something to the knowledge of the student. Certainly, it adds more insight to the lecture and makes it more interesting. Sometimes a professor's intelligence may seem counterproductive especially when the knowledge 'gap' between the student and the professor is very large.

In one of my classes, Statistics and Probability, our professor is Essie, an Iranian genius. He is a wonderful man, with a voice worth using for the recording of children's bedtime stories, good sense of humor, and a great attitude towards econometrics and his students. However, it seems that he was not given the ability to 'come down' to his students in terms of the material he is teaching. And so, much of his lectures are filled with 'random' formulas appearing on the dry-erase board. The formulas have no names (or at least no names that could be comprehensibly written down in my notes for future reference). They are long and complex, something you cannot Google... They come from some unknown spot in the textbook.

However, knowing that we are using the textbook and that the professor 'is' referring to is (but I can't really confirm that), I decided to study the textbook beginning with chapter one onwards. The pace of my studying is very slow - 2 or 3 subchapters per day (including assigned exercises) while Essie is moving at a pace of about 8 subchapters per lecture. And so, this whole process of me studying feels like I am climbing an ever-growing mountain, which is growing at a faster pace than I am able to climb at. I am sure I could even come up with an equation for this :).

For now, I will just keep climbing and hope that one day I will be so intelligent and will be able to catch up with the mountain. I have to by the time our core exams come anyways...

What's New

As I was writing an e-mail to my friend Barb, I realized that perhaps I should share the information here too. Maybe that is what I should have done in the first place. Here is an update on my life:

Atlanta downtown from the Turner Field

The first couple weeks here were very new to me, new people, new professors, new teaching style, new weather, and a new city. Classes here are not like in college, here the professor uses the class time to tell us what we should know and we go home and study that. I was not used to this at all, but now it's ok and so I am fine with having just three classes take up all of my free time. The first exam went better than I thought and I passed my first class (it was only a pass-fail grade). I think we learned about 1 semester of math per day and it was truly a fast pace :D.

Part of our class hiked the Stone Mountain

I also never thought that there were any Christians in our class until I went to the IVCF Graduate Christian Fellowship where I was one of my classmates, Jing, from China. Jing is a very sweet girl and her life journey is very similar to mine. She is also the only child. I have also found out just recently that a 3rd year student in our department (also Jing, but a different one) is also a Christian. However, I went to the concert with the 1st Jing, my classmate. It was a wonderful concert and it was for free (organized by The Fish radio station). Jing, who never had a funnel cake, really wanted one, and I think funnel cakes do go well with outdoors concerts and so we set on this journey of waiting in line for 2 hours to get a delicious funnel cake. So we missed the concerts of Natalie Grant and Big Daddy Weave. We did get to see the concert of Switchfoot which was great and soon e both ended up jumping and doing all kinds of crazy stuff. :D

Jing and I with our Funnel Cakes

Our school year has already started. We have only 3 classes - Macroeconomics, Microeconomics, and Statistics and Probability. Our macro professor has not arrived yet because of some visa issues, so we just have his lecture notes and a very difficult assignment that although is due in two weeks, not even the 5th year students know how to solve - it is a programming problem set.

Also, I have been trying to go to different churches around. The first church was quite unwelcoming, but the other two (all PCA) were good. The church that I went to yesterday is my favorite so far. There are perhaps 3oo people at the service, they worship with both hymns and contemporary music and the pastor is very much awesome. His message was so deep and yet very well understandable and applicable. I think I really liked his teaching. They were also baptizing babies yesterday, which was really cute :). After the service, I joined the 'Young Singles' group for a bible study and talking. It was very good to see some people of my age who were all so friendly and godly :) I think I will definitely go back to this church.

As for exercise, I have joined the girls' ultimate frisbee team and also our department's soccer team. This way, I 'tricked' my body into exercising while having fun :) I also went to see the Braves yesterday, but that is no exercise and the cheesy nachos I ate were so good!

At the Braves' Game

Also, I forgot to mention our hummingbirds. I bought them a feeder so that they would come more often. I even took a picture of one :)

I don't like complaining but...

I arrived at Emory University at the end of July 2010, all pumped up about the new school year. That's when I didn't know all the problems that were to appear. Here is just one of the frustrating things with Emory that I had to deal with:

Driver's License

In Georgia, an international student is eligible to get a driver's license only after the school registers the poor student's SEVIS number in the immigration system. Knowing that my PA DL expires on August 14th, but not knowing the GA rules, I attempted to get my DL at the end of July. I was told that I was not registered in the system yet by my school. So off I went to see my international advisor and ask her to register me. My advisor, Angela, told me that the 'standard practice' is to register all new international students in the system 2 to 3 weeks after the school year starts (1 month after the PA license's expiration date).

WHY? Because some students may withdraw in the 1st few weeks.

OK I get it, but why me? I was already taking a full time class, which started on August 2nd, and I had paid the small $256 bill that was left on my school fees. I was fully registered.

So, the ISSP department decided that upon attending a check-in session (90 minutes of a silly presentation and the filling out of 3 forms - at least one of them with full contact information), a student can e-mail Kate B. in the department who will then register the student.

I attended the session on August 9th and e-mailed Kate B. on August 10th. Because I received no reply to my e-mail, I also e-mailed Angela to see if something went wrong. Again, no reply.

On Friday the 13th of August, I decided to visit the local DMV (a 20-30 minute drive) thinking that my now my SEVIS would of course be registered (it couldn't possibly take 4 days, right?). I waited in line for 45 minutes at the DMV to get a paper with a number on it. Then I waited 90 minutes to see that number appear on a screen. Window 4! I gave the lady at window 4 all the materials, she took my picture and my signature and then... " there is a problem in the system." she told me. Great, no license for me.

On Tuesday, I e-mailed Angela again to see what went wrong. If my SEVIS was registered, or was it!?, I should have had my license by now.

On Wednesday the 18th, I receive the following reply at 8:38 am: 'Send me your local address by noon today and I will register you in the SEVIS system'.

But, here is the problem:

1) At 8:38 am, I was already on my way to a class that goes from 9 am till noon - how am I supposed to respond to the e-mail in time!?

2) Why can't Angela just open one of the numerous forms I had to fill out during the check-in session and FIND my local address on it!?

Should I complain to the head of the department about the way people there work? How is this even possible?

When church makes me cry...

Last night, all pumped up, I started to search for churches to go to this Sunday. I looked at all the PCA churches around and found one of a modest size. It actually seemed like a very great church. The pastor seemed like a great guy, the website looked welcoming, the church supports a lot of missionaries, has a choir and a young adults worship service on Sunday evenings. So, basically everything I ever wished for in a church.

I decided to go to the morning service, since this is what I am used to. I arrived at the church parking lot about 15 minutes before the start of the service. On my way to the building door, I saw this old lady, who apparently was having a hard time walking. First I was looking to see if anyone from the inside would come (someone could see her through the glass door) and open the door for her. No one was coming so I ran forward to open it. She was so happy!

This made me think of why so many churches I know have greeters at the door, but PCA churches don't.

Then I proceded to find the nave of the church. That's when I realized that I probably didn't come in through the main entrance, or at least I thought so. There were exactly no signs to the pews, so I walked through this long hallway with offices and some classrooms. It took me about 5 minutes to find where the service was actually held. The church was a medium size, 300 people could be easily seated there. I took a seat in the back row on the side and began watching the people around me.

There was just something sad about all the people there. No one ever since I entered the building said hello to me, not once. In fact the only people after the old lady who said anything to me were the ones who with 'Excuse me!' were rushing past me into the pew to get to their seats. And this made me cry. Why are people like that? I so wished I could be back in Erie, going to church with friends again.

And so I cried through the first half of the service, wondering whether I should just leave now or wait for the actual sermon. Then I decided to stay and the sermon after all wasn't too bad. The pastor was quite energetic and his thoughts were all over the place, but the message was worth it and completely made me stop crying.

Now I am just wondering whether I should go next week to the same church to the young adults worship or not. Will those people be so unwelcoming as their parents/older church members? Or should I just try a non-PCA church knowing that no church could possibly be less welcoming than this one?

The Likes of Georgia

I thought that since I live in Georgia now, I should count all of its blessings, or at least try to mention some things I like about it.

1. I get to 'visit' the tropical pavilion of my hometown's botanical garden every day.

2. Green everywhere!

3. Kroger's employees who not only bag your goodies, but they also help you unload your shopping cart at the cashier register and then take the shopping cart once you put everything in the car.

4. The Fish! - local Christian radio station.

5. Great classmates. Although I currently have only about 19 classmates, the hours of homework and seemingly impossible math assignments seem to bring us together.

6. Having my own bathroom.

7. The joy (and thrill) of driving somewhere without a GPS.

8. Emory library with its moving shelves that look like from some Sci-Fi movie.

9. I finally appreciate airconditioning. (I used to hate it in Erie)

10. An IVCF staff worker that actually has office hours and answers e-mails.

11. Panera Bread right on the corner.

12. Sweet tea (I forgot about it, Moll Moll :)

13. Thunderstorms every other day and all of them when I am at home!

14. Farmer's Markets!

15. Great professors :)

Psalm 143:8 *NKJV

Cause me to hear Your loving kindness in the morning, For in You do I trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, For I lift up my soul to You.

Away from life for a while

So, this is probably my last college-like summer. Summer, at least for now, filled with nothing I MUST do. I can sleep until 10 am with my puppy dog warming up my feet. I can spend time picking up wall paint for my room without feeling like I am wasting time that should be spent on homework or studying. Although there is research that I MUST do this summer, let me pretend for now that I do not have to do it (at least for another week). No calls, no homework, no friend 'duties', sweet nothingness of living.

As one of my friends would say, a dry season, a season that had lasted throughout the entire last semester due to lack of time, fellowship, and also some Christians whose shallowness was, looking back, quite contagious, seems to be coming to an end. I am looking forward to a new life in the south. New people, new friendships, new weather, leaving the past behind and running towards the future.

It may, on one hand, be tough to keep in touch with old friends. But, on the other hand, the ones I do keep in touch with are those who really matter. So, if we matter to each other, let's keep in touch. I will be here, happy, sad, lonely, overwhelmed by people, missing you and not missing someone else, or just me and God.

On constructive criticism...

Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.
(Pro 9:8-9)

It seems to me that many Christians do think that we should never rebuke each other in any way or that we should not rebuke a brother or sister in Christ if we encounter their sin. I am not sure where these beliefs come from.

Shouldn't we strive to help each other overcome that sin, to become better and thus make God look better in the eyes of nonbelievers?

Constructive criticism, I believe, does have a place in Christian life. I do not mind when my family tells me that I am doing something wrong and that there are ways to overcome that. I actually quite appreciate that. There are many things that I think are not a problem, yet may hurt others around me.
Destructive criticism on the other hand can be compared to throwing a stone at a sinner. You won't accomplish anything except a death of that person... I do not claim that I have mastered any knowledge of anything, but reading the verse above made me think...

I wonder, what to think of a person who rejects any kind of constructive criticism... Are they too proud and full of themselves? Or do they not strive to become better people and Christians?
Is a friend who offers constructive criticism a good friend or do you think it's the same as throwing a stone at someone?

Polamalu's Testimony

Our world has created so many stars, idols, and celebrities. People believe in them, dress like them, talk like them, party like them, and do all the things they can to be like their favorite celebrity (Hannah Montana is a great example of how far things can go these days....).

This is why I am always very happy when I see someone, who is portrayed by the media as an 'idol', yet in reality the person is very humble and a believer who is not afraid to admit to their faith. I love when Troy Polamalu talks about serving God through football. Amen! It is so clear that he puts his heart into the game, but it is not for the money, or the fame, it is for God, for his team, and his coach :). There are so many ways to serve our Lord!

GO POLAMALU!

Wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like a cell phone?

What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we turned back to get it if we forgot it?
What if we flipped through it several times a day?
What if we spent and hour or more using it each day?
What if we used it to receive messages from its text?
What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
What if we gave it as gifts?
What if we used it as we traveled?
What if we used it in case of an emergency?
This is something to make you go
Hmmm... where is my Bible?

Oh, and a few other things;
Unlike our cell phones;
One plan fits all.
Unlimited usage.
No roaming charges.
You always have reception.
You don't have to buy batteries.
No weak signals
AND you never have to worry about being disconnected.

Our SAVIOR already paid the bill

My attempts to exercise

This summer, before I came back to Erie, I made up this amazing schedule of things to do every day. Basically, I would get up every morning, do research, go to class, do research, eat dinner, study for GREs and then.... EXERCISE - meaning go running or go to the gym.

I have to laugh at these plans now, because, honestly, the only thing that is on schedule is me going to class... and then eating dinner. The rest is just sort of being thrown around as the days go by.

The first time I went to take a run, I met my friend Barb, who was walking her two dogs, and I basically spent the next thirty minutes walking with her (understand 'no running').

My amazing and funny roommate/apartment mate Molly and I decided that maybe it would be more motivating for the two of us if we exercised together. The first time we went to the gym, it all seemed to work out perfect. We got there, and got on those cool machines.... and then this guy came to announce to us that the gym was closing (understand 'no exercise').

Last night, Molly and I decided to take a walk instead of watching a movie. What an idea... Our walking went well as we got about half mile from our apartment. Then, all the sudden, it began raining and so we decided to return back, only to find ourselves sprinting the last couple yards to our apartment (understand 'no exercise again').

Now, the only thought I have is what will happen the next time we attempt to go for a run or for a walk? Maybe by the end of the summer, we will run out of all the possible 'disasters' that could happen and get some exercise :).

Obama Cliffs notes

I found this quite amusing article at the end of the school year and I loved it. I am not a big fan of President Obama's economic policies, but I think that a bit of dark humor doesn't hurt anyone :)

Here is the Obama Dictionary:

"We are not going to get relief by turning back to the very same policies that for the last eight years doubled the national debt and threw our economy into a tailspin."

Translation: Blame Republicans, and tax cuts

It's time to "make hard choices to bring our deficit down."

Translation: Hello, higher taxes!

"The only way to fully restore America's economic strength is to make the long-term investments that will lead to new jobs, new industries, and a renewed ability to compete with the rest of the world."

Translation: Big government.

"We need to make clean, renewable energy the profitable kind of energy."

Translation: Your utility bills are going up.

"If your family earns less than $250,000 a year, you will not see your taxes increased a single dime."

Translation: For now

"I will not sign a plan that adds one dime to our deficits -- either now or in the future.(Applause.) I will not sign it if it adds one dime to the deficit, now or in the future, period. And to prove that I'm serious, there will be a provision in this plan that requires us to come forward with more spending cuts if the savings we promised don't materialize."

Translation: "I promise to fix the problem. And if I do not fix the problem now, I will fix it later, or some future president will, after I am long gone. I promise he will. Absolutely, positively, I am committed to that future president fixing the problem. You can count on it. Would I lie to you?"

Yes, these things definitely do sound funny, until we realize that the Obama administration is digging a hole out of which it will be very hard to get.

You can find the full article here:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123569711858288917.html

http://gregmankiw.blogspot.com/2009/09/wheres-beef.html

Friends, Ethnicity, Body of Christ

Today, Paul Hassle talked at IVCF about Ethnicity - esp. people who come from different culture. I was actually quite happy to hear him say what I have been saying all along - that what is different is not necessarily wrong. 

Words like NORMAL, ACCEPTABLE, and NATURAL, just sort of infiltrated our language that we use them even without thinking. Anything that is 'normal' is good and friendly, makes us comftable, anything that is not is wrong... from my experience, many people (including me on occasion) think like this. 

However, as Christians, Jesus calls us not to judge other people for their differences, He wants us to love others, pray for our enemies, and understand those who come from different cultures. Jesus or the apostles served those who were of different cultures and were reffered to as 'dogs' by the Jews. They knew that the kingdom of God is not just for some selected group of believers. After all, we are all one body of Christ. We can learn from each other how to serve God better and worship him in our friendships. 

Yes, I have to admit that being an international student somewhat made me have many friends who do not come from the same culture as I do... in fact, none of those who do come from the same culture are at Behrend. I agree with Paul, I have learned a lot from all of you, friends, crazy Americans, Asians, or African Americans (all meant in the best sense). Haha, you do indeed surprise me time to time with things, but that makes life more exciting and interesting!

I am thankful that God blessed me with so many friends here at school. Now that I think about it, I could say that all my friends are foreigners to me since none of them are from the Czech Republic, but I don't. They are my family :)

Rom 12:3-21  For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.  (4)  For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function,  (5)  so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.  (6)  Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them...  

What do you think about this? Have you ever learned anything from your international friends?

Prayer for a Friend

Whom will you follow, where will he take you?

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=mark%204-8;&version=47

Tonight at IVCF we had a speaker come and talk to us about Jesus. First of all, let me say that I do not appreciate young pastors that much because it seems that they try to appeal too much to young people rather than concentrate on their message. Second, thinking back, you don’t really see that many messages/speeches/sermons talking just about Jesus.

Well, this young pastor from Grace church came to talk to us about Jesus and his journey to the other side.

Basically, the situation was that Israel lived on one side of the Sea of Galilee, whereas these 7 nations of Canaan lived on the other side. These 7 nations were the exact opposite of the Israelites – they worshipped pigs, engaged in sex, violence, and other bad stuff in their pagan temples, they worshipped money, and were all but godly people. Also, the Roman legions were placed here. Now, one day, imagine, Jesus decides to go and take a trip to the other side… His disciples must have been afraid quite a lot. Actually the pastor made a point that in the big storm which Jesus stopped, these disciples probably thought it was a sign from God not to go to the other side.

Once there, the only person they meet is this crazy man who lives in tombs (probably didn’t smell or look that well) who had a demon in him whose name was Legion (connection to Romans here). Here Jesus makes the demons go into a herd of pigs that eventually all end up drowning. How cool is that? Amazing! The story goes on…

This man wanted to follow Jesus, but Jesus told him to go and tell others about the miracle that happened to him. Now, in all other circumstances, Jesus usually tells people not to tell anyone and to follow Him, here He does the exact opposite (apparently Jesus knew what would work the best here J

Next, Jesus goes back to the east bank (Israel) where He feeds 5 thousand. This is important later.

Then in Mark 7, Jesus decides to go back to the other side (as if once was not enough). This time, He is welcomed by a big crowd of people. Why? Because the one demon-possessed man told them! Imagine how God used this one man to spread the word! Amazing, and he used to be such an outcast… The story goes on up to the point where Jesus feeds the 4 thousand.

Now, the pastor stopped here to compare these feedings:

Feeding 5 thousand

                They were all from the ‘good’ side

Disciples were the ones to remind Jesus of people’s hunger after 1 day

Jesus fed them and 12 baskets were left over (as in 12 tribes of Israel)

Feeding 4 thousand

                They were all from the ‘other side’

                Jesus had to point out to people’s hunger after 3 days!!! Of them following Him

                Jesus fed them and 7 baskets were left over (as in 7 nations of Canaan)

The common theme here is that God cares for all people, no matter which side they came from, Jesus had compassion for them and brings them the good news of salvation.

Now, a lesson learned:

It is great to admire and love Jesus, but… we should follow Him too.

Yes, Jesus is my hero. He was a great leader, knew when to say things, what to do and what not to do. He did not sin. He had compassion and cared for those who did not know Him.  Jesus is my example and teacher. If I could be at least 10% or even 1% as good as Him that would be super amazing (again I’m not really sure about how you calculate that…). Here is the main point though, it is not enough just to admire Him like we admire Sidney Crosby (I doubt that the majority of his fans know how to play hockey), we as Christians should strive to be like Him, even if it means going to the other side and feeling uncomfortable.

What does it mean for us to go to the other side? One example given to us by the pastor was just to talk to people about Jesus. Yeah, scary right? But honestly, what is the worst that can happen?

Would you rather be fruitless, feel admired, but not able to look God in the eyes because of not having enough courage to speak up?

Or would you rather feel a little awkward at times but able to come to God and say ‘I tried’ and go to sleep with peace of mind?

Here is a last thought that sounded sort of important to me, that is how do we start a conversation about God? – it may be quite challenging. One advice that was given to us: Don’t start with

‘Where would you want to go if you died tonight?’ rather ask

‘When you wake up tomorrow, what will your life be? Whom will you follow? Where will he take you?

Alternative Spring Break 2009

I thought it may be good to reflect on my ASB experience since many people have been asking me. We went down to Gulfport - Orange Grove, MS for about 6 days. I have always enjoyed camping and this was an amazing opportunity to spend some time in plastic 'tents' and do some good in the community. After the first half of the semester, I was feeling quite drained of energy and good attitude and I was hoping that couple days of good old manual work would help me.

Here is what I learned that week:

1. Friends of your friends will most likely be wonderful people - Diana Tinlin, who is my friend Molly's roommate, is such a wonderful person. I was blessed to work with her in a group.

2. Angry man does more bad than good - When pouring a self leveling substance onto our floor, this man came to our house (he was the site mgr) to tell us how all we did was done wrong. His attitude made one of our team members cry, two of us were trying to comfort her, and the result? All the leveling stuff in our bucket hardened. This man was still determined to use it all and after his attempt to pour this now quite thick stuff on the floor, it became even more uneven than before. Way to go. Here is what happened to the rest of the substance - it became rock hard :)

3. Don't try to wash an oil based primer from a brush or bucket with bare hands - mine became very white for several days after this attempt.

4. Razor works surprisingly well for removing oil based paint from your hands - this I found out after #4 happened.

5. Southern accent rocks!

6. It is possible to miss someone other than my family while being on a trip.

7. When God is in people's hearts, they are beautiful - the man whose house we worked on was so wonderful. You would expect him to be bitter after having everything damaged by the storm, but he was so grateful and happy man!

8. Envy is quite unappealing - we had this small dispute over some groups going to New Orleans and others not going. I so wanted to go, and now I feel bad after seeing how some people can react to having less than others.

9. I can kick soccer ball with either foot and get the same result :)

10. God was there with me - when I watched the sun set and rise, spent time alone or with friends, He was there.

11. I want to go back and also do more service here on campus.

So, how about some more pictures now?

My group's leader Kris

My group - Diana, Shami, and Mike

All of us at Sonics

Here is my 'podmate' and friend Jena

Doug’s story – Pathway to Love

Today at IVCF, a man called Doug (some people had a terrible time trying to remember it ;) came to speak to us about love. Doug actually works in the mailroom at Behrend and so I was quite surprised to see him. Listening to him was definitely worthwhile.

First he started by telling us about himself, his life, but mostly, I was struck by the loving way he talked about his wife. It seems almost unbelievably nice that after 34! Years of marriage, people still can love each other so much. Doug began with a question asking, what is the most important thing I found out about life so far. It really was a great question. If I was to list one thing, it would most probably be ‘Don’t trust anyone but God.’ It may sound strange, but God has taught me this lesson many times over and over again.

I was curious about what Doug learned – his thing was love. And to tell the truth, the answer matched his personality. Then he went on to talk about the purpose of our life to learn how to love God, others, and ourselves. I never thought about things this way before! It was amazing.

Life is like a maze with lots of turns, dead ends, but also a pathway that one has to follow to get to the end. When we keep Christ as our focus, Doug said, we should see our ‘maze’ from his perspective and find the path easier. He will give us the sight and light (guidance) we need. God will help us find balance in life – another wonderful thing – by getting us through the trials and tests that we go through. God will get us through them and guide us because – guess why! – He loves us, very much.  The closer we are to Christ & to God, the closer we are to being a loving person. I have to agree with that. I would not want to be my friend when I didn’t know God… I just wasn’t very loving at all (not that I would be now, but still I can see minor improvements).

Here are Doug’s pathways to love:

1. Daily Prayer – whether you just sit silent & listen to God, meditate on a Bible verse, pray with others, or alone, prayer is the 1^st base in communication with God.

2. Daily Bible Reading – I’m trying and honestly, this step has shown to be a great one. Reading about God and his works & about Jesus is so encouraging.

3. Finding a balance in life – balance between the spiritual, emotional, and physical part of us.

4. Practicing what we have learned in the Word – Sometimes very challenging, but overall rewarding. Forgiveness is probably the biggest part of it. Forgiving others is hard, but not forgiving is just as pretending that I am not a sinner. There is also forgiveness to self, which reminded me of what Buddy once said during dinner down in Gulfport. He was talking about forgiveness and how even though God forgives us, we still have hard time forgiving ourselves which later on becomes a burden on our hearts. I see here an area I can definitely work on. J Of course, there are many other things we can and should practice.

5. Test ourselves on what is learned – God tests us and we should be as good students and let ourselves be tested. Patience was one example Doug gave us.

6. Be in a community of believers – Churches (btw. I love my church family) offer the community and the body we are to belong to. We are to support each other, help each other, pray together, etc… you can’t really do that without having a family of wonderful Christians around.

7. Serve others – self explanatory.

8. Recognize that we have been saved – I think this comes back to the forgiveness and self-forgiveness. Also accepting the fact that I did not do anything that would make me be saved (on the contrary) and that without Jesus, I would literally go to hell.

9. Believe that we are loved by God – Yes, what a wonderful thought. God is the only one who actually loves me even though he knows everything about me. Amazing. J

10. Strive to do God’s will in daily life and die to self-interest – the more selfless we are, the more we can serve and love others. Being selfless makes the world much better place.

In the end, I think that Doug’s message was very good – he should be a pastorJ. Wow, what a wonderful person that works at Behrend! I am very thankful for what I heard tonight. Maybe, one day I will also be this wonderful loving person, who is amazing, selfless, and godly…

Here is a song that Doug mentioned, it has very pretty lyrics (this is an excerpt):

Life’s a Dance by John Michael Montgomery
Life's a dance you learn as you go
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow
Don't worry about what you don't know
Life's a dance you learn as you go

The longer I live the more I believe
You do have to give if you wanna receive
There's a time to listen, a time to talk
And you might have to crawl even after you walk
Had sure things blow up in my face
Seen the longshot, win the race
Been knocked down by the slamming door
Picked myself up and came back for more

Life's a dance you learn as you go
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow
Don't worry about what you don't know
Life's a dance you learn as you go

I do not deserve this

I realized that I haven't written anything in my blog for like a year or so. Well I should do something with this, therefore, I would like to share what has been going on in my life. 

For once, last semester was a pretty bad one - what a change from all the bad ones before... Family issues, my parents almost divorcing, work issues, being turned down on at least 4 internships without a reason, relationships not getting better despite many prayers, and the list could go on... plus throw a huge pile of work, 10 group projects, and 2 clubs on the top. Praise God I survived this. But that is not what I wanted to talk about.

I have always believed that spring semesters were much worse than fall ones. The lack of sunshine contributes to this a lot. Until this semester came along. First of all, I did not want to return back to school from home. I was so blessed with friends back home, who did not forget about me, and love me even though we see each other only twice a year. I got to meet my friends over cupd of tea, christmas cookies, hot chocolates, and of course Sunday services and Friday youth groups. I also made new friends, which is kind of a miracle considering the length of my stay. 

Next, I decided to change my major. After praying and praying, I felt that finance just wasn't for me and I for finance. I can tell you that the day God called me to economics was probably the happiest one so far this year or even in 2008. I have always admired those people who would talk about their God-callings, Holy Spirit revelations, and wondered what was wrong with me because I just never experienced any - until that day. God completely changed my mind and it was amazing. Kind of risky too - but definitely worth it. 

Now, the adventure continues... God solved my internship trouble too and gave me this amazing book "Three Cups of Tea" as an inspiration for research. However, I had less than 2 weeks to put together an entire research proposal. In addition to this, it can seem nice to do research on the education of women in econ, but what on earth was I to do the research on? Two days before the proposal due date, God blessed me with a research topic. 

After a semester of challenges, came some good things. Yet, I do know that I do not deserve anything of this. It is his grace and mercy. God's love, kindness, his knowing what my needs are. I am pretty sure that I did grow closer to Him in those challenges and learned to trust Him more than anyone else on this planet or in the universe. 

The Choice

Something from the first couple pages of my journal:

"For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day's demands. It is now that I must make a choice. Because of Calvary, I am free to choose.

I choose Love....
No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.

I choose Joy....
I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical...the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I choose Peace....
I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I choose Patience....
I will overlook the inconvenience of the world. Instead of cursing the one that takes my place, I will invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for the moment to pray. Instead of clinching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I choose Kindness....
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I choose Goodness....
I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I accuse. I choose goodness.

I choose Faithfulness....
Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My wife will not question my love. And my children will never fear that their father will not come home.

I choose Gentleness....
Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice, may it only be in praise. If I clench my fist, may it only be in prayer. If I make a demand, may it only be on myself.

I choose Self-Control....
I am a spiritual being. After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my Faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control.

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek His grace. And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest."

-Max Lucado

Lovely <3